


Which

by aishahiwatari



Series: Trektober 2019 [11]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Academy Era, First Kiss, Getting Together, M/M, Masturbation Interruptus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-12-09 09:50:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20992838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aishahiwatari/pseuds/aishahiwatari
Summary: “Jim,” Leonard sighs, because he’s exhausted but too wired to sleep and the ineffectively muffled, breathless noises from the bed on the other side of the room are most definitely not helping. “Are you crying or jerking off? Because I gotta tell you, one of those gets you an invite to share my bed and the other one has to stop right now, and I’ll give you two guesses which is which.”(for day 11 of Trektober 2019, prompt: Whimpering or sobbing)





	Which

“Jim,” Leonard sighs, because he’s exhausted but too wired to sleep and the ineffectively muffled, breathless noises from the bed on the other side of the room are most definitely not helping. “Are you crying or jerking off? Because I gotta tell you, one of those gets you an invite to share my bed and the other one has to stop right now, and I’ll give you two guesses which is which.”

Jim falls silent, but he doesn’t say anything.

Leonard probably shouldn’t have poked at his neuroses quite so sharply. He’s a shitty friend when he’s tired.

“Okay, that wasn’t clear. Do you want me to listen- no, wait, that’s not better. Do you want to talk about- fuck, nope. Can I help- damnit, I have a doctorate, I swear I can make actual sense.”

But Jim laughs a little, and it’s watery enough to be an answer to Leonard’s initial query.

“Damnit, kid, will you come give me a hug?”

“But it hasn’t gone down yet,” Jim ventures, as though there’s any way Leonard’s going to let him get away with it now.

“Well, don’t poke me with it and we won’t have a problem. Now get over here. You’ll be doing me a favour. Still find it hard, sleeping alone sometimes.”

It’s a transparent excuse, but apparently it’s enough for Jim, who shuffles across the room clad in sweatpants and nothing else to crawl beneath the blanket Leonard lifts for him. He holds himself a little stiffly as he settles in, but there’s not enough room in the bed for that really, and they’re both tactile with each other, usually. Leonard throws an arm over Jim’s waist and pulls him in hard enough to make him yelp, and does his best to say the right thing.

“So- if you were upset about anything, hypothetically speaking. Any idea what that thing might be?”

Jim huffs out a bitter laugh but he’s relaxing in increments, curling into Leonard’s body, turning to face him. His eyes shine pale in the almost-darkness and he takes both of Leonard’s hands, brings them up to clasp them between their chests, stroking his thumbs over Leonard’s fingers maybe without even realising he’s doing it. “It’s not a big deal.”

“Well- and this is still hypothetical, of course- just say I thought you were full of shit.”

It does what Leonard wants, which is to earn a startled laugh and a lingering smile, and then Leonard sobers his tone, because this is important.

“Let’s just say, too, that I have this friend. In fact, he’s my best damn friend, and I think the only person who doesn’t know that is him. He’s the strongest person I ever met, and I think-“ Leonard pauses, to untangle his fingers from Jim’s, to take one of those strong hands and lay it flat on his own chest, over his heart. “I think if anything were upsetting him, it would be a big enough deal for me to want to know about it. And to do everything I can to help. How do you think I’d go about letting him know that? What should I do?”

“He sounds like he’s probably not worth the hassle,” Jim mutters, and Leonard’s so surprised that he responds at all that he doesn’t manage to deal with that right away. “You can do better.”

“Now you watch your damn mouth. That’s my best friend you’re talking about and I won’t have that kind of shit said about him.”

“I mean it, Bones.” Jim’s squeezing his eyes shut, now, as though it could do anything about the tears trickling down his cheeks. Leonard aches to wipe them away, knows if he releases Jim’s hands at this moment he will run, and he might not ever come back. “I’m the worst. You should go before I drag you down with me.”

“You’re not trying to drag me anywhere but up.”

That earns him a teary glare for the dual literal and figurative meaning, but he meets bloodshot eyes and he tries to project every ounce of gratitude he feels for this ridiculous, space-faring man. And Jim’s lop wobbles, so he bites it, and his apparent oral fixation makes a lot more sense in the context of trying to hide whenever he has a feeling, and Jim asks, “You sure?”

“I’m here, aren’t I?” Leonard says, because Jim has always understood actions more than words. “I’m not going anywhere,” he says too, because he doesn’t know if Jim’s never heard it before or if he’s only ever had it proved wrong. Either way, he needs to hear Leonard promise it now.

And Jim doesn’t look like he entirely believes it, but he pulls his hands from Leonard’s hold, rolls over and shoves his back up against Leonard’s chest, relaxing only when there’s an arm wrapped snugly around his waist.

“Thanks, Bones,” he does say, but only when Leonard’s half-asleep, breathing in the smell of Jim’s shampoo and all he can muster is a tighter squeeze, for a moment.

-

The next time it happens, Leonard is stumbling in from work, exhausted and bleary, navigating the room in the dark until he hears Jim clearly suppressing his breathing, trying to go unnoticed.

“Bad day?” he asks, stripping off his medical uniform, dumping it on the pile he plans to wash later.

“Not ‘til just now,” Jim responds, ruefully, with something in his voice that-

Leonard throws a pillow at him. “Damnit, Jim!”

“I thought you were out! When else am I supposed to do it!”

Leonard grumbles, even though he knows he doesn’t really have the right. It’s difficult, sharing rooms when they’re both so used to having their own space, and Jim’s not a bad roommate, all told.

“I’m going to the bathroom. Think you can be done by the time I get back?” he asks, as he retrieves his pillow, as he accepts the inevitable.

“You’re not gunna offer to listen?” Jim teases, yelping as Leonard hits him with that same pillow again but laughing when he attempts to grab it. “Say maybe you can help? Invite me into your bed?”

“Like you need any more excuses to take liberties,” Leonard swats at him again, although there’s a softness to his tone that betrays his true emotions. Jim smiles at him, and even in the almost-darkness it’s lazy and seductive, and it penetrates where Leonard can usually hide, so well.

“What if I did offer?” he asks before he can think better of it, and before he can take it back Jim’s taken hold of his wrist and hauled him onto his bed, where the sheets smell like him. He's rolled on top of him to grin triumphantly, a little feral.

“God, I knew you wanted this. Fuck, Bones, why didn’t you just say-“

And Leonard needs to correct that little misunderstanding right away, is not quite ready to be swept along on a wave of Jim Kirk’s irrefutable charm just yet. He’s lasted this long, damnit, no matter how tempting those soft, pink lips are. “I want that, too,” he says, with far more gravity and depth than the situation might warrant, except he can’t allow Jim to believe otherwise for another singular moment, even as hardness presses into his hips, even as pretty blue eyes go wide around huge, dark pupils. “I want to hold you when you feel like crying and listen to why you feel like that. I want you to know this is a safe space, where you can relax and be yourself and not have to worry about what anybody thinks. I want to tell you it’s going to be okay, that I love you no matter what. You’re my best friend, Jim, and that comes before anything else. I want you to know that.”

And Jim smiles at him, maybe doesnt quite believe it but he's giving Leonard the chance to prove it, and he's asking the most important question of all, in that moment:

“Yeah, but, right now, do you want me to touch your dick?”

“You’d damn well better,” Leonard murmurs, and drags him down into a long, heartfelt kiss, lifting his hips to meet the ones that grind down against him.

**Author's Note:**

> I’m also on [Tumblr](https://aishahiwatari.tumblr.com/)


End file.
